ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
