May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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