He is like the real live version of the state fair..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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