video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
