i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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