Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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