This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
