the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize