i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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