i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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