boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
