I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
