She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
