Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I look better un-naked...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
