Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Come share oat with me in your robe
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
