are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i will never coherently bang her
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
