They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it was like eating out sand paper
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Randomize
