I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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