You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I would ride that face into the sunset
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize