I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
someone owes me an orgasm
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Randomize