you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
