I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
