An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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