What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
