'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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