the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
