My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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