3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
