Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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