I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
