the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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