Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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