i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
