not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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