ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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