so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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