Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize