I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
