we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Less talking, more tequila
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
