I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
