She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
