Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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