Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
