Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
