What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
