problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
