He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
