ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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