I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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