the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
