lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
