Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
