Someone shit on the floor
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
