Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
