im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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