U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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