Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
