i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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