it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
