I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
