There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
