What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
