I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
