The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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