I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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