I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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