The maid of honor just puked.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
