I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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