there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
