come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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