We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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